Three Tips For Navigating Change
If 2020 has taught us anything, it’s been to expect the unexpected! The Greek philosopher, Heraclitus of Ephesus, is noted for saying, “change is the only constant in life.” Truth - life is always in a state of flux.
Think back to New Year’s Eve, as the ball dropped and you celebrated the start of 2020. You were gearing up for a new and exciting year ahead. You had no idea what was going to happen. A global pandemic? Not seeing your family and friends for months on end? No traveling or vacations? Working from home? These were certainly not on anyone’s radar.
You might have a love/hate relationship with change. Many of us do. We like routines. We are creatures of habit.
When things are going really well, you don’t want anything to change.
Yet, when things aren’t going your way, you want everything to change.
Have you heard the saying, “What you resist, persists?”. When change comes knocking on your door it’s better to give it a friendly welcome, rather than barricading the door.
Each change, positive or negative, brings about new opportunities and experiences.
Instead of letting your fear of change hold you back, embrace it and find room to grow.
When I think back to being a teenager, when change was the name of the game, I can vividly remember belting out our teenage anthem, "Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes, turn and face the strange” by David Bowie. We wanted to be seen, but not too seen. Bowie was an idol to me. I admired how he was constantly reinventing himself and actively sought out change, like it was a conscious choice.
Self-expression came so easily to him and I envied that. I dyed a few strands of my hair indigo once, but it was the washable type dye so it was easy to change back. There was no real commitment there.
Change you choose is one thing, but dealing with change when its thrust upon you, without your consent is a whole other ballgame. That could be the loss of a job, an end to a marriage, loss of a loved one or friend, or a pandemic. The uninvited and unannounced changes really teach us how we respond. Do you lean in? Do you deny it? Do you dig your heels in?
When I’m faced with an event or big change beyond my control, I remind myself of Victor Frankl’s words in Man’s Search for Meaning.
He so eloquently brings me back to understanding it's my attitude toward what happens I have control over. By not letting the event dictate my experience, I can turn it around. This change in mindset has helped me move more quickly through tough times. Frankl writes, “The way in which a man accepts his fate and all the suffering it entails, the way in which he takes up his cross, gives him ample opportunity - even under the most difficult circumstances - to add a deeper meaning to his life. It may remain brave, dignified and unselfish.”
How can you take action? How can you find meaning and purpose in times of great change? Let’s take a job loss as an example.
Acceptance. Accept the reality of what is happening and be kind to yourself as feelings arise. Being vulnerable is not showing weakness, it rather shows courage. And hey, it might be painful. You might deal with a myriad of emotions. Share those feelings with people who care about you and let them be a source of comfort. Give yourself the gift of time to heal.
“I lost my job. I am sad because I loved that job. I am scared because I need to make money. I am worried because I don’t even have an updated resume. I am encouraged because maybe I can finally start my own business. I am going to talk to people in my circle that have gone through this. I am going to wait a few weeks before I do anything.”
Think positive thoughts. Instead of labeling it as change, I call it a surprise and I encourage you to try this little mind trick. This eases anxiety, because surprises are usually fun, right? When you shift your mindset to the idea this change could actually be a good thing, it helps you in the transition.
“Oh wow, a surprise just walked into my life. I wasn’t ready for it, but I can handle it. Remember all the times I thought about quitting my job to pursue my dreams? Well, this just sped up the process. I need to take action. This is my chance to live my real purpose.”
Listen to music or read inspirational quotes and stories. This can help you feel more empowered. Feel free to cue up my Bowie song or put on a tune that gives you butterflies and makes you excited. Quotes are great, too. Just reading wise words can give you an inter-connectedness knowing we’re all experiencing similar fears, disappointment, heartbreak and life challenges. We’re all in this together.
“I’m going to go online and read some success stories of entrepreneurs. I am going to put my favorite song on from college so I can zone out and think about happy memories. That was also the time I had the biggest dreams, so it will put me in that mindset again. I am ready for anything.”
What’s your favorite song or quote about change?